just a little talk.

[clareedwards]

Clare sighed, she needed to have this talk with Eli but of course she was concerned with the outcome, and of course the words that would be exchanged. She liked him a lot, but he was bad for her. She looked in her mirror and brushed her short red hair. She pulled a black head band through her hair and sighed. She walked over to her closet and threw on a black band tee, and Her favorite blue jeans. She pulled on her shoes and walked downstairs. Once in the kitchen she grabbed her car keys and headed out. It was going to be a long drive to the park. Even though it took only minutes.

She slid into her car and began to drive. Her mind was all over the place. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him. When she arrived at her destination she heaved a heavy sigh and looked at the park with the tall trees and the playground where little kids played. Her mind took her back to the simple times when all she had to do was worry who took her favorite toy. Her eyes went around the park until she saw his dark hair. She couldn't help but smile at his sight. She wanted to be with him but was so afraid he would hurt her.

It took her longer then usual for her to pull her thoughts together. As she slowly pulled her cell phone out and climbed out of the car her eyes never left Eli. She watched him for a second in case he decided to leave. But he never stood up from the bench he was sitting on. She took a deep breath and began to walk towards him. Her mind was racing and Her heart skipping a beat as she came closer to him. She plastered a smile on her face as she rounded the bench he was sitting on. A few seconds later she was face to face with the boy she cared for. She was scared he would hurt himself, scared he would emotionally hurt her, and the thing she was scared the most of was her feelings for him. She sucked in a deep breath and with a shaky voice she finally spoke to him.

"Hey Eli. How are you?"

[Eli Goldsworthy]

Sure, Clare had left him with much question in his mind, and now he was home from vacation with his uncle. He had a good night of sleep and woke up well rested. Eli laid on his bed, looking at the ceiling counting the dots, he wasn't quite sure where he and Clare stood, it was just a kiss right? She always made it seem that way, but he didn't want his mind to get too worked up over his thoughts. Things would be normal, he'd walked to where he knew she'd most likely be and he'd, talk without anger, without impulse. Eli chewed the inside of his cheek, and exhaled fully before pushing himself out of bed. He walked down to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of orange just then walked over the cabinet taking out the orange bottles of pill that put his life on a median. Eli took his psych meds and finished his juice heading into the bathroom.

His emerald green eyes slimmed his reflection before he reached over and got into the shower. The water ran down his body, and he was soothed by the heat. He washed up and lathered his hair with shampoo, rinsing then exiting the shower. Getting out wrapping a towel around his waist before heading back to his room. He skifted through his clothes and pulled out a black pair of skinny jeans and a black shirt with forest green writing on it. Eli liked shirts with sarcastic, humor written on them yet he still didn't know what Drew Torres, and Dave meant by the word 'Swag' Eli shrugged and tossed on his socks and Converse sneakers. He put on a couple Celtic necklaces with sliver designs hanging then looking himself over in the mirror. "You can do this." He reassured himself before heading downstairs then out the house.

Most of all he missed his car, poor Morty even though Clare hated it, because it reminded her of death. What was so wrong with death? Eli shook away his thoughts then walked to the park, he spotted Clare and a smirk appeared on his lips. Clare always made him smile, this was something he couldn't help. Simply looking into her eyes made him smile let alone the fact that she was returning one his way. He walked over taking a seat on the bench leaning back putting his arm around her shoulders moving in for a small hug, he didn't this it was out of line. Then he bit his bottom lip in thought to her question.

"I'm living, I'm here with you, I'd have to say I'm doing quite well Clare. How are you?" He asked a smile on his face as he was content with her gaze.

[clareedwards]

Her smile brightned as he out his arm around her and pulled her in for a small hug. Her eyes locked on his as he spoke to her. Living, yes that was a good thing. she had to think about his question. She was Honostly good, for the first time in a long time she was where she wanted to be. Relaxing in the park, with the boy she had feelings for. She wasn't sure what to say to him. she inhaled a deep breath and slowly exhaled before soft words escaped her lips. Her eyes locked on his.

"good. And I'm exactly where I want to be. Where i want us to be."

She sank into his arm and gently put her head on his shoulder. Truly this was where she belonged abd she knew it. No matter what they have been through in the past this is where she wanted to be. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine why she ever broke up with him before. All of a sudden her thoughts caught up with her heart. She sighed and lifted her head up and looked at him. She just wanted him to her, she wanted him to know she was scared, and most importantly she wanted him to know what she wanted from him.

"what do you want from us? Where do you want us to be? How do you feel about me?"

She sighed asking the questions slowly and hoping to get at the very least a good friends status. she wasnt looking forward to these answers and she was ready to hear him tear apart her heart. She sighed and let go of his hand lightly and slowly slipped down the bench a bit. She wanted to just get this over with.

[Eli Goldsworthy]

Now Eli wasn't stupid, he could tell there was a lot of Clare's mind just from the way she acted. Eli smiled and looked around a bit his eyes falling on a young girl and boy playing in the sand box together, those were the days he thought before bring his gaze back to Clare. When she spoke her full sentence he couldn't help to think what she meant by it and now this was sinking in. Eli put his arm around Clare and allowed her to rest her head on him for a moment. What did she mean, where she wanted them, he understood the random kiss, he enjoyed it even but Clare always seemed to be so dead set on not being with him, because of a mental problem and here is where the thoughts started to race. Now was he just Jake's rebound, because he and Clare's parents were getting married and she was lonely? Was he just her default or what this real? All this he had to take into consideration. He spent many nights, crying over this girl, wishing she'd come back or just text, even call him. Eli looked into her eyes blank of emotion, he wasn't quite ready to share his feeling.

"Well, lets talk about that over an ice cream sundae shall we?" Eli said with a smile, he didn't want to hint of any kind of mind race because he knew she wouldn't stay for it, she never did.

Eli stood up looking taking her hand in his pulling her to her feet and taking her hand. There was an ice cream place down the street not too far, and he didn't want to have this conversation in front of children in case he screwed up and let himself yell in acts of mania and impulse. He walked the tiny side walk watching his feet as he did avoiding the cracks that he once as a child called, bad luck. Once they arrived he opened the door for Clare, he'd never let himself act ungentleman like around Clare. Once in the shop he looked at the menu then to Clare. "What ever you want my treat." Eli offered walking up ordering himself a hot fudge sundae with vanilla and chocolate ice cream with walnuts and whip cream.

Once Clare ordered and they were handed their ice cream he walked over to a booth sitting down taking a spoon and taking a bite. He smiled in satisfaction then thought more about her question.

"I like where we are right now, were doing good not arguing." He answered avoiding his feelings for her. Clare had a way of getting them out of him but not with out a little retaliation and time. He remembered the past, and though he loved her he couldn't just throw away the past and start over, not that fast.

[clareedwards]

She sighed as he pulled her up and took her hand as they walked to the ice cream shop. She was happy he wasn't going into a fit. She sighed and was sick of him ignoring the questions. She looked around and watched him as he avoided the cracks. His quirks were what made him special. She liked him a lot and wanted to throw every thing aside so they could be happy. She sighed and looked around once more as they entered the ice cream parlor. He had said she could order anything on him. That's what she liked about him. He was such a gentleman at times.

" I'll have the mint chocolate chip, in a bowl with hot fudge over it please."

She sighed as she got the ice cream and watched him pay. She sighed once more as they walked over to a booth. She slid into the seat across from him and looked at yer ice cream. She took a bite and waited for him to speak. As she heard his voice she rolled her eyes and looked up at him. This is all he wanted was to just be friends. She know she shouldn't get her hopes up. She sighed lightly and looked out the window, she wanted him to know why she cared about him. She was so worried it drove her crazy.

"yea it is nice being here an not arguing. Eli......."

She trailed off not sure as to what she was going to finally say to him. Sure she had kissed him, and of course she meant it. To her it meant she loved him, and wanted to be with him. Not so sure as to what he was going to say to her next words. she was scared to talk and when the words finally escaped they were soft and almost a whisper.

"eli I love you but I'm scared"

[Eli Goldsworthy]

Eli had been through it all, a death of a girlfriend, a list of groupies, he had been in love. He had been hurt, broken even and Clare was somewhere in this list. He ate a couple spoon fulls of his ice cream and when she said she loved him he just about choked. Eli reached over to the napkin dispenser grabbing a napkin and he wiped his mouth. He blinked a bit sort of blank of emotion, with no expression on his face. Did he love Clare? Yes, he always would but in the time she was off with Jake he was with Imogen, and after that he was alone working on himself. Lilli was his new little friend, she was special to him too and now Clare was admitting she loved him after all they went through. He had tried so hard to just be her friend, even joined the school newspaper as a journalist to be somewhat close to her. He felt himself bottling his emotions and this is when he had to speak before his thoughts raced out of control.

"Your admitting your devotional love for me, now like this? You think you can just walk back into my life Clare, Ive tried hard to work on fixing myself for you. But you can't just expect me to pick up where we left off!" Eli said a bit stern, he didn't want to hear this right now. Eli looked out the window, narrowing his eyes before bringing his attention back to Clare.

"You can't just drop me, get with another guy and come back because you didn't win in your relationship. I refuse to be someones rebound, and though you kissed me and I felt it, doesn't mean that I'm going to just drop the world for love again I lost that part of myself." Eli said.

He cocked his fist and hit it off the table the mania setting it, and now he knew why she could admit she was scared. Eli got up walking over to the counter, leaving Clare and his ice cream. He had given up everything for that girl at one point and now it was becoming a reality. Eli paid for the ice cream and walked out of the shop walking a bit fast back to the park, he walked over to the swings and sat down running his sneaker across the wood chips. Maybe he was harsh but otherwise he couldn't get his point across. He also lost his cool, again..