Wont say I'm sorry +Brad

[Kaleb Davidson]

The previous night he had invited Bradley over to stay with him so they could have some bonding time. Kaleb wasn't too thrilled about having his boyfriend around his father yet he knew Brad would insist. The night got a little wild and he had persuaded his Brad to drink with him. A night of video games and some take out was on the agenda. The signs of Brad's seasonal depression were showing and he figured he'd man up and take care of Brad for once. Yet after a few drinks the game plan changed and it was arguing and aggression. "You just the hell shut up." He said shoving the smaller boy up against the wall looking down into his eyes. Kaleb knew Brad wouldn't argue back with him in this state. Though times of silence he asked about the musical he had heard about it from Imogen while invading on the art club. The alcohol was setting and and he decided to lay down and to no surprise his boyfriend was by his side. With no words he closed his blue eyes and was sound asleep. The visions of abuse, and betrayal haunted his dreams and he woke up looking over his shoulder for Brad. The boy must have left while he was knocked out. "That little.." He stopped himself from getting angry and he knew why things were always so tough between him and Brad. Most of the time it was his fault yet he could just let it end like this.

Kaleb got up and put on his plaid pajama pants and a hooded sweatshirt. Then put on his socks and sneaker tip toeing down the stairs to see his father with an empty whiskey bottle in his hand snoozing in front of the television. Kaleb sighed and walked to the closet grabbing a throw blanket and putting it over his drunk mess of a father. Things might have been hard yet his father was the only one who really did stick around for him. Then out under the night sky to Brad's house. He looked at Brad's window and went up the fire escape peeking in his boyfriends window. Boy did he feel like a creep. He opened the window and climbed in walking over to Brad's bed running his fingers through Brad's hair. "Brad, baby wake up." Kaleb whispered shaking the younger boy a bit.

[Bradley McCall]

Earlier that night he was actually having fun til he was forced more to drink. Brad wasn't a drinker, when he allowed himself to drink he would around people he was safe with at social occasions. Brad just did it to avoid arguments yet it just forced them to occur. The night was ruined and although he enjoyed his bonding time it was cut short. When Kaleb went to bed he waited for a while just looking at the ceiling. So many thought and untold thing he had to say but he'd avoid them. His boyfriend show no interest in his musical, and barely any in he himself. It sort of hurt yet when he was around his friends it didn't so much. Brad sighed and rolled over on his side, he grabbed his cell phone and asked his mother to come get him. He was done for now. Though the fight wasn't too physical earlier he didn't want to deal with the morning. Brad leaned over and tucked Kaleb in and kissed his boyfriend's forehead getting out of bed. Brad got dressed and walked down the stairs listening to the snoring of Kaleb's father he snuck past and walked outside closing the door behind him. Brad waited for his mother and when he was finally picked up, he got in the car. "I want french fries." Brad said pouting a bit, this liquor buzz had him starving. His mother scolded him about wreaking of boozes yet she caved and got him food. After eating he was ready for bed. It had been a long day, he checked his texts while he started to drift off. His dreams were nothing bad just light drifting and then he felt someone shaking him. Brad opened his eyes and jumped. He wasn't sure if he was more freaked out or scared. "I'm awake." Brad said forcing himself to sit up. The looked that was placed on Kaleb's face caused him to look down into his lap. "I'm sorry I left like that babe..I was just hungry." Brad said using that as his excuse. Brad chewed the inside of his cheek and he reached out for Kaleb like a helpless child. Once the boy came to him he laid back pulling his boyfriend on his chest. "I have to admit when your sleeping, it's adorable." Brad whispered running his fingers through Kaleb's hair soothingly. Brad widened his eyes. "I mean not to say when your awake your not adorable it's just cute is all." Brad said trying to avoid angering this boy.

[Kaleb Davidson]

Kaleb watched his boyfriend jump and his eyes saddened, he wasn't quite sure if it was him flinching or just jumping out of surprise whatever it was he didn't like seeing it. Kaleb rolled his eyes at Brad's excuse and licked his lips. "You know damn well you could have woke me up and I would have made something for you." He stated harshly looking up at the ceiling listening to Brad give him compliments about his sleeping. He couldn't help but to smile and look away not letting Brad see this weak side of him. Kaleb thought for a moment and when Brad put his arms out he moved closer and shook his head pulling Brad on his own chest. He wasn't the best boyfriend and he was learning that slowly maybe Brad deserved more. Yet people only accepted the love they believed they deserved. Kaleb looked down into Brad's green eyes and sighed counting the colors, together they would have beautiful babies if they were doomed to both being males. Yet that didn't stop other people, why was he thinking about future? Maybe it was because Brad spent all his time with his musical friends. "Brad I..I want to know your feelings." Kaleb admitted looking up he never gave Brad much room to talk but he had the smaller boy there laying half on him where he belonged and he figured it would be nice to let Brad get stuff off his chest for once. Truth be tone he could see the unhappiness in the boys eyes or how he forced a smile. He knew that smile because he made that fake grin everyday. "I mean whats going on in your life, what makes you happy these days?" Kaleb asked running his fingers up and down Bradley's back soothing. This was only step one if he wanted to keep Brad loyal he had to see what he was doing wrong.

[Bradley McCall]

This had to have been one of those cute moments Kaleb had, Brad watched him as he faced away and giggled to himself and when Kaleb came to him he was shifted. Brad wasn't used to laying on Kaleb's chest it was very rare now a day for him to be held by anyone. He got comfortable and tossed his leg over the boys. Brad got chills at his touch and he looked up into Kaleb's eyes wondered what was on the boys mind. He had been growing feelings for someone else recently and to hear Kaleb want to talk about his feelings kind of shocked him. "My feelings..." Brad said indecisive about wanted to share them. His emotions were mixed sure he had feelings for Xander yet he couldn't leave Kaleb. Obligations were very important to him, yet his feelings now a days were starting to fade. "I feel like you don't care about things that are special to me." Brad started, he felt like he was in some kind of relationship counseling session. He moved away and laid beside his boyfriend on his back, looked up at the ceiling. Where to go, he knew he was home and he was safe to state the way he felt. "Like I really do care about you but sometime I feel like you don't see I do and it hurts." Brad said looking over to his boyfriend, he could nit pick all day about things that hurt him but how far could he push Kaleb. "I feel like I'm in this relationship alone Kaleb, I don't know what you want me to hold on to anymore. You gone a lot of the time. I sleep alone. The last time I heard an I love you...I can't even remember." He said clearing his throat he felt his eyes brim with water and he sniffled a little looking away. He didn't want to get hysterical thought now he felt weak and belittled. Brad had to get himself back together yet right now it was hard. He wanted to know what made him happy. Brad could answer that with a name simply yet he wouldn't. "I'm happy you came here tonight, it actually shows me you do care." Brad said, yet he wasn't sure if Kaleb was seeking personal benefit from being there with him. "I'm happy when you smile and I know your safe." Brad said and though those things were true there was more to his own happiness now a day.

[Kaleb Davidson]

He understood he asked about Brad's feelings yet was unsure if this was what he wanted to hear. Scratch that he didn't want Brad to knock him for every little thing he had done wrong. Kaleb looked up at the ceiling and viewed the shapes he didn't care about what was important to Brad because it was irrelevant to his own life. Selfish as he was he couldn't admit that. Kaleb listened more. Brad was talking about how Kaleb didn't know for a fact Brad cared about him. "That's bull shit I do know you care about me, you care about me a lot." Kaleb said annoyed and he rolled over not facing Brad. He couldn't face Brad when it came to moments like this. It battered him inside, he heard Brad's change in voice and he heard the crying. "Brad.." Kaleb said turning around to face the boy. Kaleb took his thumb to Brad's cheek and wiped away the boy's tears. It pained him to know he made Brad feel that way, yet he held on to the boy because it was the closest thing he had to love. "I don't want you to feel that way." Kaleb said sitting up he pulled Brad into his lap and held the boy close. "Your everything to me." Kaleb admitted. The only thing he had to look forward to at the end of the day was a text from Brad or a phone call where they fell asleep together on the phone. Small sleep overs, spending time together meant a lot to him. It was just he was pushing too hard to feel alone. To feel the way he was suppose to feel. Kaleb felt himself want to cry, he wanted to say more but he felt as if he spoke enough. "What can I do to make you not feel that way..I can't lose you Brad." Kaleb whispered, he couldn't be abandoned anymore. Not by the one thing he actually had. In his mind he felt this way, his friendships and flirtations prove different. Kaleb knew Brad did deserve the world he just wasn't willing to give in to that. Kaleb wasn't that type of person he was hurt in the past himself there for he acted accordingly to society.

[Bradley McCall]

Brad felt Kaleb's fingers wiping away his tears and he looked at his boyfriend and used his own hands to wipe his eyes. He was used to cleaning up his own mess of a broken heart. Brad licked his lips and sighed. "It means a lot hearing you say that." Brad commented he felt at ease at least Kaleb knew he did care about him a lot. This little relationship which he thought was so strong at one point was fading. "Do you ever feel like we were not meant to be together?" Brad asked he looked over at Kaleb, he wanted honesty, he needed answers to understand Kaleb's side to why he acted the way he did. The abuse wasn't the worst part the alone feeling was and Brad wasn't going to sit around and let himself feel like this when there was someone who actually cared about him in the world. Brad swallowed his slit. "Eve if you don't want me to feel the way I do, I will. I'm not sure of what you can do. I'm starting to give up...like you did a while ago." Brad admitted closing his eyes he knew speaking out of term would get him one of two reactions yet he really didn't care. He was putting in over time for this boy and it was his time to have back bone and stick up for himself. He knew if he and Kaleb broke up he;d always be there so there was no reason for the boy to think Brad would leave him completely. Brad rolled on his side facing Kaleb. "I made you a pinky promise in 8th grade I would never leave you. I never tended to never break my promise." Yet while Brad was in 8th Kaleb was experiencing high school and when his mother left she took everything this boy had inside with her. Brad was ashamed to admit it. Yet this was why he wouldn't just let his boy go. Not to mention his own fears of being alone.